I could use the help. That was a long time ago, when I was looking for a new stereo setup. I'm looking to get a 5 disc changer and receiver for my old kenwoods. I'm hoping to create surround sound. I'll have to wait on it now though since I need to save up a bit, but any help would be awesome. I figured you're the best guy I know when it comes to stereo's and so I is buggina ya! Let me know dude.

interesting thoughts.

ryc: tempting words: i know.
fileden: well then i suppose i need to find you on one of those occasions that it works...if that even makes sense...
commenting: s'ok, if you're busy you're busy. not much we can do about it. (though i do kinda miss you...)
talking: because we know and like you and enjoy hearing from you. we know that eventually you will come around and read/write back to us, though i think most understand that it may take a while. even if we do tease you about updating more often...

thanks for stopping by.
*jihd*

Heh... yeah, i know.... ive been REALLY busy lately... taking 18 credits and working at walmart... i plan on doing a huge update when i'm home for 2 weeks over christmas... hopefully i can find the time neways...

As you can tell, I put a lot of thought into my entries. (Somehow sarcasm just isn't as good when it's typed.) I just don't have a lot to write, since it's just the same old stuff. I thought those picture things were rather amusing and felt like sharing. Maybe someday I'll post something worth reading....

RYC:  Y did you like the charm?

Also- As your sister I don't like your new pic.  The gun to your head is bad enough the smile is a real added disturbance.  I worry.

Amberley

As your MOTHER, I agree with your sister - I find the picture quite disturbing... and somewhat upsetting....  I've tried to call several times to wish you Happy Birthday.  I would love to talk with you if you get a chance. 

By the way, I love that song - and I AM GETTING RID OF SOME OF MY STUFF!!!!  It's taken me years to decide how, and get enough motivation, to downsize - but I am doing it.  Sold a couch, two chairs, two end tables, a TV armoire, and a queen-sized headboard.  More to go....

Love you - take care - thinking of you - Mom

Hey Chris.
Haven't seen or heard from you since Sept 28th
But we don't really talk to that is more than likely the reason!
Yes I also would have to say the profile pic is a little unsettling.
But it is your site and you post what you want!!!

you talk too much...

I know Oingo Boingo simply because Danny Elfman was the singer for that band.

I think that whoever wrote that post most definitely did make up that statistic, thought there are traces of truth in it. The truths may be a little more absolute than I'd make them, but I do agree that there are far too many people concerned with mostly the more base things in life, and never have any desire to progress past them. (Hence Fargo being ranked the 5th drunkest city in the United States) I believe that whoever it was was just expressing a frustration with the people which he or she described, and in that case I understand it being a little exaggerated. However, I find when people lump the mass population into negative groups such as that on a regular basis and never recognize even a trace of any of that behavior in themselves, it seems very much as though they hold themselves in a higher regard than the majority of the population. Now I, who believe that humility is a virtue, recognize then their folly in making such statements, as stating such things matter-of-factly (and not simply on occasion out of frustration) on a regular basis reveals in them such things as they'd ridicule others for. Things like self-centeredness and self-righteousness, which we are all guilty of at some point or another, but to think ourselves above it leaves no room for any improvement. Also, when such statements are made, the writer or speaker is most likely to leave him or herself out of the statistic mentioned. Therefore, the higher the statistic, the higher regard for him or herself they have and the more pompous it sounds. The group the statistic is applied to can be of any size, but in this case, the writer includes the every behavior of the entire population, therefore considering him or herself in the top .25 percentile of everybody on earth. Now that is a haughty statement if I've ever heard one. That is, of course, if it wasn't meant as simply a hyperbolic statement in frustration and for effect.

I also vote that you should lose the profile picture. You know why.

As far as the second part of your post... it seems to me that healthy people seek out their wants. In failing to do so, one becomes frustrated, which leads to hopelessness, depression, and finally this leads into that individual failing to (so much as even) try. If you do that for long enough... you will find yourself bored, even to the point that you eventually, will finally... (out of sheer hopelessness) quit wanting much of anything at all. This is the world of the clinically depressed, those who might not get out of bed for months at a time. Their "want to" is gone.

Which is pretty sick, because people used to tell me that people should curb their wants,  to simply learn to be content with what ever it is that they already have. (Mistakenly believing a lack of desire might indicate some kind of permenant ecstacy, I suppose.)

I'm here to tell you... life is not about the destination, it is about the journey. Keep striving... those who feel that they are working toward a goal seem (to me) to possess the healthiest mentalities of anyone.

Hi
Hmm... remember I said once that by the time I got a responce my life would have shifted again? Yeah I was right. For the record: I luv you. I'm... realizing I shouldn't take things/people for granted and yeah sorry. That was a "I'm not going to take him for granted" moment.

Moving on to the 'old/new' comment... *grin* We're kinda odd you know that?

Wise person phrase: My mom was the one who formulated that one I believe... It was on a day when I was feeling very very blue and she thought that I should be cheered up! It didn't work, but the saying stuck in my head long enough to tell you.

EMS: I am supposed to hear soon whether or not I was able to get into the school I've been trying for over 9 months to get into. *shrug* we'll see. The only consolation is that the man in charge of it (Tony H.) remembered me (probably because I made a royal nuisance of myself while trying to get into the medic prog) and he seems to be of the mind that it will be no problem for me to get in.

If I haven't made it in... I don't know what I will do but it will be something medical perhaps become a nurse eventually though not a standard nurse... more on the order of an ER nurse... I'm simply to much of an adrenaline junky to not be involved in the ER somehow...and regardless of all of that it is HIGH time I found a job. I need a regular cash flow badly...

Example, I need two teeth extracted ($700)... but don't have the money for it, need to buy a new amp ($65) for my music (since I'm playing in public a lot lately it seems like) and I also need a pre-amp box ($45) so that I can plug into a PA system without buzzing people out . I need the amp by Thurs, the tooth extraction will be paid for by my parents then I will pay then back when I get the funds... which may not happen for awhile...

Also, my mother needs another amp ($50) and a preamp box ($45). Fun. Stuff. Wrong way Feldman...

Math & Spanish: Exhausted: Well... Tomorrow (Wed the 12) is my last day of Math. I haven't gone up for Spanish in close to 5 weeks because of the crazy crazy Christmas Schedules and simply don't wanna go. I'm going to go up north one more time, pick up all of the things I left there, may stay over night, but other then that... :-| I hope to be finished with it until after I've been able to take a class on the language. I started going up north for my mother... and now I have done as she asked trying it her way, now I do it my way (taking a class, learning the words then practicing them.). We shall see which one proves to be better. However I think in this instance I will be more likely to learn what I need to from the class rather then the immersion because with immersion it takes a lot longer to learn something. Even though I picked up A LOT of it within the first 3 weeks I was going up... I know my learning style well enough to know that I will do best to learn the words then use them. It won't be easy but nothing worth while ever is right? I know I still need it so it isn't like I'm quitting... merely taking a break until I can figure out what is the best plan of action.

Week off: The problem is that right after I wrote that comment you responded to... I went into a 6 week cram session which has completely burned me out. I would be ok if I never heard the suggestion to go to GR ever again! I know I'm rotten but... grr... the drive up (2 hours) the amount of time spent, which actually is spent on the kids not my spanish I end up with 1 day where I actually get some spanish done... and the other 2 days I don't.

Your mum: *smile* Alright don't take offense to this because I truly have nothing against your mom other then what I've heard. However the repulsive response that popped into my mind was "Even a broken clock is right twice a day". It's something that a friend of mine says all the time...

Marriage: Yeah. I guess so. *shrug* I like to think of it as companionship because if I think about it as it is... (a battle of sorts) it just sounds ucky and I start thinking maybe it isn't worth it and I should just stick with the easy route (staying single). Meh. I can't do that either though. I get to lonely... *shrug* oh well. No easy answer. Ever.

Grandfathers accident: Alright, if I were to tell you on here it would literally take the rest of the space left in this comment. So I will either write up a separate comment for you, give you the link to the post I wrote up about it, OR e-mail you the details.

If I give you the post... you're going to know the same as your dad does. But if I tell you, you'll probably know more. Since I wrote it up, we've found out things like the fact that he died then came back to life. Crazy... shit.

Counseling: You would take "work" home because it's the way your wired. Just like I can disconnect myself from the world around me becoming an almost separate entity allowing myself to deal with painful situations like car accidents or amputations; you are a kind hearted guy who pours himself into everyone around him to the point that you begin taking on the problems of the people around you. Am I right? Btw - I wouldn't change that part of your personality for the world on a platter. You without that kind/gentleness is impossible for me to imagine.

20 yrs: *smirk* Flattery gets me everywhere is that it? Meh. I suppose I do flatter you to much, though I don't mean to honestly. Just happens.

I suppose in a round about way the flattery is a bi-product of having multiple best friends... but still keeping you in the list of the bestest best friends. Simply because you've always treated me good.

It is beyond description amazing how this comment... as unexpected as it was. Completely disarmed my fury with one of my friends. He had a bad day; I had a bad day, we took it out on one another and I was hurt... crying yeah never mind skipping that part... was angry and basically tearing everything apart... but then your comment and slowly... the anger floated away like the steam off a hot tub in the middle of the winter. I'm still upset with him... but you neutralized me without even knowing it. Congrats. *laugh*

Drinking crowd: What are you picking up?? It's been awhile since I "nosed around" but... other then the friends like Drew who are really really tempermental... I guess I'm a bit curious what friends you think don't like you. You kind of hit me as someone who everyone likes simply because you're nice to everyone. *shrug* It is more then likely that my perseption is clouded though. Been a long time since I (1. talked to out mutual friends and (2. you and I talked on a regular basis.

"Somethings must be viewed from a distance" True dat. In all things serious... it should be evaluated from a distance as best as can be accomplished. Or so I've been told by my father...

Differences: Perhaps. I for one have never had much luck with that. Then again... as you know I don't make friends very quickly... after I've befriended them I'm alright, it's just the getting there that can be rather difficult sometimes... and when I'm dealing with people who like to drink etc... a lot of the time I end up feeling like an odd duck since I don't drink. Meh. *shrug* I'm finding it to be harder being sober then it is to be a drinker handsome.

Tapped out: Sounds like basic burn out to me... but maybe I'm off base. At least you have a job, plenty to keep you busy and a steady hand/solid mind to make those snap decisions. Well I hope that the gradual improvements on the stressful factors will continue to improve; whatever they might be.

Time's effect on perspective: I don't like to look at old pictures. Fancy that. I felt overweight then, just as I do now, so I truly hate looking at myself in pictures. It isn't bad in the mirror or something... just in pictures.

I'm slowly beginning to realize that my obsessive nail biting disorder is probably connected to my "over weight" frame of mind. Whether I actually am or am not it doesn't really matter to my brain it seems so when I become uncomfortable for whatever reason I nibble on my nails. I've done it since I was in Kindergarten. *shrug* Yeah yeah I know I'm to old to chew my nails. Trust me I've heard it all. My mother has tried everything she can think of to make me stop but she cant seem to get it through her head that I have to be the one to stop... that she can't "make" me stop. Oh well... just a basic run of the mill power game... nothing I can't handle. I play this game with her constantly.

Photos: Do you miss the times that you're looking at in the photos? Or are you glad for the changes that have come about since then?

Boats: Meh. He is still working on that philosophy (dont upset grandma)

Motors: *laugh* Yeah! By the sounds they needed to scrap the whole plan all together prior to making any prototypes!

Mechanical skill: *smile* I think you're probably wiser to stick with normal car and truck motors anyway. My brother rants about motors he is learning how to fix enough for both you and him.

Timidity: Man you'd never know he is timid lately... the boy can't keep his mouth shut. I wanna go over there and do a whip stitch on his mouth! *growls with a smirk*

Guy @ school: *covers eyes* Yeah I knew you would, and thats all I can do now... is laugh at myself. But man alive when I look back on myself even just last semester I literally am thinking "whoa... was I really that immature??" Meh I haven't changed much really... just stopped focusing on the little stuff leaving that to God and am focusing on the big stuff since it's about all I can manage.

Funny... it seems the older I get the less I can handle shit. I end up flying off the handle or getting hurt feelings at stupid stuff... meh. :-| Weird. I think I know why, but there isn't really anything that I can do about it. I can't be a "turtle" anymore. I have to pull the shell off since I've "outgrown" it.

Street bike: Well... I know. But I know quite a few guys who wouldn't think twice about doing wheelies going 210 down state rd 120... on their brand new crotch rockets... simply because they can. Regardless that they have a wife and kids at home. *shakes my head* Yeah. I know. Stupid.

So I guess my :be careful: was caused by that mental image. Cuz take it for what it is... but the thought of ANY of my friends in the type of destruction which would surely ensue if they were to get into a wreck going that fast... *shivers* Not that you'd do something stupid like that... just... agh I'm rambling.

Mom is a controlling personality. Its kind of a fact of life which I'll have to "deal" with the rest of my life unless I push her out of my life. Which I refuse to do. *shrug* I'll just have to deal with her controlling personality until I can find a better answer for it.


But... anyway This is about long enough I think. Poor Chris... now you have lots and lots to read. *grins*

Good post.

Surprised, but pleased to think that in being sad you came on here to try to be happy... Gives me that warm fuzzy feeling!!

Interesting thought patterns for sure...

I don't like the profile picture... but its yours to use of course. I don't like it because it... well it makes me think of Peter... and although normally that isn't necessarily bad... I don't want to think about you dying. It would make me very; very; Very; sad. (voice gets slightly deeper with each "very")

Anyway

Time for bed. Night-night.

New Picture... YAy!!!

Much better profile picture, thank you. Incidentally, I updated today... so TAG, your it! (Assuming that you find the time in your busy schedule to update this weekend, of course!)

Just thought I would pop in and say hello?  You've been updating about once a month now- so uh... IT'S BEEN A MONTH

Got a new Xanga site, because I liked the name of my former site better than that of the latter.

http://www.xanga.com/Grey_Autumn_Rain

The Nasigoreng site will be open for a while yet, but will ultimately be closed.

Go buy some warm boots so that I can stop worrying about your safety.... on a long enough time line, sooner or later, someday... you will be walking far enough in the same weather as we get every winter... against your will and unplanned. To go into it unprepared wearing wet sneakers? For a guy who drives a truck out of town in the ND rurals?  All macho pretenses aside, you really do NEED to take some appropriate safety equipment with you. Dry and warm boots are a must.

Now, go buy some, you cheapskate... so I don't have to.

Say, I know that you believe that the Internet is no substitute for human interaction... but you probably wouldn't be overdoing it to update once a month or so. It would be kind of nice for the rest of us, you know... the ones with no lives of our own(?)

... and now it is already the month of March. The season of the big snows, the final month of hiding in warm cubbyholes awaiting the final seasonal changes into spring. Finding solace in the promise of the coming weather by virtue of the warming rays of the sun. Picturesque speech... but from the website of Lincolnman, silence.

Hello. I am just now reading the messages that you left me about a month ago. I apologize for the delayed response. As you already know, I do have a daughter. She is now 14 months old and I could not ask for more in life. I want you to know that I do not hate you. Hate is a very strong word and I may or may not have said I hate you (to be honest I dont recall ever saying that I do but I apologize if I did). Please send me another message if you wish...

Your so far behind you might just be ahead.

i'm going to assume you're still alive out there somewhere, seeing as i haven't been informed otherwise...
hope life's going ok for you.

Where did you go?

And you really are 'her' favorite you know.

You are the only one who does things with her. Especially the legos- man does she love those little things!

Amberley